Freedom
by PiffPoffSplash
Summary: Schuldig learns what Brad meant when he said they would be free. I decided to make another chapter since you all asked and I had nothing better to do! death fic,angst, BradSchuldig
1. Default Chapter

Time for thinking was quickly running out. In a few moments it would all be over. The noises around him were already fading, and while he was never in the position before, he assumed everything marked the beginning of the end. Even the voices in his head were subsiding. If nothing, the latter tipped him off even more that everything was finally coming to an end.

His heart was not pounding and he was not shaking from fear. In a way, everything felt normal. When the first bullet pierced through his shoulder he felt anger, when the second ripped through his leg, causing him to fall to the ground, he felt a wave of fear run through his body. He knew he would not be getting up again. But when the third bullet hit his chest, everything changed.

His body slumped to the floor and for a second he was thankful the second bullet caused him to fall on his knees, he would have fell further if he were standing. He heard a scream from Nagi but ignored it. He was too awe struck with the notion that he was defeated. He, Schuldig, had been shot down.

The first few moments were clouded with pain. Nothing else existed but the throbbing of his wounds and the feel of his own blood soaking his clothes. He closed his eyes trying to get away, trying to will his body to die so he would not have to feel anything anymore. Then suddenly, it was gone. A relaxation took hold of his body, leaving him with an acute awareness that he was dying, but also, with the knowledge that everything was going to be all right.

He felt himself smiling. He finally understood. He finally understood what Brad had told him before they entered this battle with Estet.

_"This will free us." He said as he walked over to the red head. "This will be the last battle."_

_Schuldig smirked and dropped his cigarette. "And we'll finally be free." He could not help but allow the small smirk to become a genuine smile._

_Brad nodded and pulled the red head closer to him. "Yes. We'll be free." His tone was soft, loving, filling Schuldig with a sense of comfort._

_"Where will be go?" Schuldig suddenly asked full of hope. "To Berlin? Will they go?" His head was bombarded by the possibilities they now had. He could not help but ask Brad a million questions at once._

_With a slight laugh, Brad pulled Schuldig in for a kiss. "First. We become free. Question nothing until we become free." He answered and said no more. _

Brad's voice echoed in his head, "first we become free." This was their freedom. This was their fate. They were never meant to live through the fight. Brad had seen that in a vision. That is what he meant. Their freedom was in death. He knew, in time, Nagi, Farfarello, and even Brad would fall; he was just the first casualty in this fight.

Funny how everything became so much clearer when one was dying. Suddenly he felt a hand pick up his head. He opened his eyes to see those of Brad. His leader. His lover. He wanted to say something but found it hard to just open his mouth. He'd have to leave in silence. Shame.

Their relationship had changed so much over the years. They had gone from a casual indifference towards each other, to lust, to love. As he thought it over regret began to seep into his mind. The love came so late, just a few months before the fight that would soon claim his life. That would soon claim all their lives.

He wanted to know what it would be like actually being Brad's lover. Living in a world that did not involve Estet and murder. He wanted to know what it would be like entering a home that belong to Brad and him, taking vacations when Brad got time off work, visiting Nagi in college and watching him grow up into a man, trying to keep Farfarello sane, he wanted to know what it would be like living.

Brad's voice leaked into his head once more, "Question nothing until we become free." There was no use in questioning. What good would questioning bring? What if's were always the hardest questions to answer. What id they had escaped and lived and normal life...he felt himself smile once more. A normal life.

What kind of normal life could they have had? They were still schwarz. They would still be plagued with the memories of those who they had killed. Farfarello would never be sane enough to stay with them. Nagi would never truly learn to be a part of society. If they lived, they would never be free. This was the only way and Brad had foreseen that.

He looked into Brad's eyes once more. He was finally free. Soon they would all be free. He felt Brad's lips on his forehead before everything faded away.

fin-

I have no idea where this came from or where it fits in the story line. It just somewhat came to me. I am going to say this came after the end of the season. After they killed the Elders, Estet hunted them down.


	2. Chapter 2

I never really planned on writing a second part but I did today! Hope you enjoy! It is crawfords point of view

* * *

I saw this all months before it occurred. When I closed my eyes at night I saw flashes of their deaths, soon followed by my own. I first thought it was nothing but a reoccurring nightmare. It was so different from my usual visions I quickly pushed it aside. But, with time, I got the flashes during the day as well. Soon, I had no choice but to recognize these flashes as visions. No matter how much I did not want to believe in them, there was no other path for us. This was our fate. 

I was bitter in the beginning. So many times my visions were mere possibilities, not this time. This time there was no getting around it. My anger soon turned to an odd appreciation of everything around me. I knew that my moments with my team, the people who became my family, were not to be as everlasting as I thought. In time, we would not be together anymore. This realization made me change my attitude towards them. I no longer was the stoic, stick-in-the-ass, leader; I became their friend.

Of course, this change did not happen over night. For a while I pushed them further away form me that I had in the beginning. The thought of befriending people who were dying did not appeal to me. It would only cause me more suffering in the end. As such, I demanded more than they had, I told them things I knew would crush them, I did anything I could to keep them away from me. I even contemplated leaving all together.

I knew that I could make it in the real world. I could be successful and leave the world behind. Granted, it would be difficult at first. I doubted Esset would allow me to leave without problems, I would always be hunted, but I knew that I could make it. What was a little stress of being hunted compared to dying? The thought scared me. I did not want to die. I rather enjoyed living even if I worked for the people that I did and had the life that I did.

I never left.

Weeks and weeks passed and I stayed with the group. I made up many excuses for myself, some I even believed for a while, but soon, I could not hide from the truth. I did not stay for any reason but the three men I called my team. Yes, I could make it on my own but they had no chance. None of them had the skills or the capability of functioning properly in society. If I left, they would be split up into different groups and their lives would take a huge downward turn. As much as I hated to admit it then, I had to stay to make sure they were all right. I needed to be there to protect them.

Exactly when this transition came, I cannot say for sure. I know I fought the feeling for a while but somewhere along the line, I submitted. Each one grew on me in their own way. The though of Esset getting control of them once again frightened me. In truth, that was the main reason I got so upset with Schuldig when he acted out or did something stupid. He drew far too much attention to himself; He all ready had a horrible reputation with the elders to begin with.

So, I suppose there was no real possibility of me leaving. I chose to stay. I chose to doom myself to the same fate as my teammates. I was to die along side them, just as they fought along side me all these years and trusted in my guidance. I owed them that much.

It was so hard keeping up the lie. I kept telling them I saw us getting free, I saw us escaping our life, I saw us living our lives the way we chose too. With time it became so hard to look at their hopeful eyes knowing what freedom awaited us. Still, I accepted it. I accepted our fate. Until, a slight change in one relationship changed that.

Schuldig. He made me bitter. He ruined my attitude towards everything. Suddenly, I wanted more time. I wanted to live, I wanted to have a future. I wanted all things I knew I could never have yet he dreamed of, it was not fair. I wanted to change his life. He did not have a bad childhood but he was poor, I wanted to show him what it was like living in luxury, to never worry about money problems. I wanted to ease his pain. I could not do that.

I never expected to love the German, I never expected to love anyone. He was such a sly devil. He got under my skin without me noticing until it was too late. As much as I loved him and needed him, I hated him for making me hate our future. After I spent so many months getting to the point where I accepted everything, he came and ruined it. The asshole.

So many nights I lay awake, fearing to go to sleep because I knew what awaited me. Visions of all their deaths, of his death, that is the one that hurt the most. He was the first to die and I knew that I would be right there when he did. He would die looking at my face, in my arms. I had to give him that one last gift

Still, they were vision, nothing more than visions. I always had more time left. I always had another day to wake up and spend time with my family, to treat Schuldig to joys he never knew. It always felt like I had time.

But now, now, they are no longer flashes. Now, it is final. I am not seeing visions, I am living it. It is not silent, I hear the sounds of our fight and the cries of my team as they begin to be overpowered. I smell the horrid stench of blood and death all around me. This is real. I cannot rub my eyes and make the sight before me go away. If I close my eyes for a long time I will see the same scene when I open them. This was it, there was no more time.

Now, I do not fight. I simply take in the scene. I what moves will be taken, what words will be said. I know it all by heart. There was never a point in trying to change the outcome, to tell my team what to lookout for, everything was leading to this point since day one. There was no escape for us.

A cry of pain catches my attention and I turn to face the man of its source. Schuldig. I was time.

I watch as Schuldig places a hand on his chest a look of disbelief on his face. He cannot register what just happen to him. Even in his final moments he thinks is he the immortal German; no one could strike him down. It almost brings a smile to my face, almost. Soon he is falling to the ground and I am rushing to catch him, I will not allow him to hit the hard floor.

I cradle him gently in my arms and I notice my heart is pacing rapidly. All the years of training myself, preparing myself for this moment, leave me. I am becoming frantic and I can do nothing to spot the panicking feeling from taking control of me.

I was such a fool. Nothing could prepare me for this moment, no vision, no training, nothing. My lover was dying before my eyes and there was nothing I could do to even ease his pain. I do not want to let him go. It is not his time. I refuse to let him go. I need to do something, why isn't there something I can do.

Tears reach my eyes as I watch him begin to close his eyes. Moment. Mere moments are left with my lover. Anger builds inside me as I allow my tears to fall.

Why? Why did it have to end like this. Why does it have to hurt so much? Why am I willing Schuldig, begging him to wake up when I know he will never open his eyes to see me again. Why can't I open my eyes and wake up to see another scene, knowing that I have time left. Why?

I lean down a place a loving kiss on his head and his breath slowly stops. Schuldig, is gone. Schwarz has come to its end.

Another scream makes me look up. Nagi. He is being backed up into a corner, for the first time since I knew him I could see fear in his eyes. How can he not be scared? He is but a child and he knows death is approaching. With a little whimper he is laying on the ground, his will be dead soon. Then Farf, then me.

But then, I am all ready gone. I look down at the figure in my hands and tears build up inside me again. I am all ready gone.

I feel someone approaching me but I do not look up, I continue to stare at his face.

There are no more moments.

I will not watch Nagi grow old and go to college. I will not see the day he escapes this life and makes something of himself. He was never supposed to get that far. I will not be able to help Farfarello live a comfortable life. And Schuldig, my Schuldig. The smirk is gone, never to be replaced again. I will not wake up to his body pressing against mine or feel his lips upon my own. Everything has come to its end.

Someone raises a gun and aim it at my back. I know they are there, I know what they plan on doing but I do not act. I simply hug Schuldig closer to my body. This is the final moment of Schwarz.


End file.
